Have you ever felt like God was asking you to do something or not do something and because it didn’t make sense, and you couldn’t see a reason for it, you thought maybe you heard Him wrong…or maybe it wasn’t God at all.
In my quiet time with the Lord, I felt Him urging me to take myself off my tennis team for at least the first half of the coming season. I felt Him telling me that I should spend more time concentrating on taking care of my mom and work on my writing and if I didn’t I’d miss out on a blessing.
This didn’t sit well with me at all. Plus, it made no sense. I love tennis. It’s an outlet. It’s exercise. And…at the time I was playing at the top of my team. And oh yeah, I think I’ve mentioned this before, I’m slightly competitive!
I wanted to ignore this urging at first but it persisted. Convinced that it was the Holy Spirit, I knew I needed to be obedient. I half-heartedly agreed with myself that I’d tell my captain that I was quitting.
A week passed and I started waffling on my decision, questioning whether I heard God correctly. It was really bothering me so again I prayed about it.
I asked God, “Please show me this is from You because I really don’t want to do it.”
My hopes were I’d hear God say, “Sorry there’s been a huge miscommunication problem. You must have heard me wrong, go on about your life.”
But all I heard was silence.
After I said my amen, I found my place in the book I was reading, When Women Say Yes To God, by Lysa TerKeurst and proceeded to read. I was on, page 43, that just happened to be about radical obedience. For the next three, count them, 1- 2- 3 pages, the words jumped off the page and into my face as if God were speaking them to me Himself. Especially the following.
“The point here is that there may come a time at some point in your life when you will need to decide between your will and His.
One thing you can be assured is that God has already worked out all the details of what your obedience will accomplish—and it is good. We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss.” (When Women Say Yes To God, page 45)
After reading the chapter on obedience I had resolve. I was determined to tell our captain I was leaving the team.
But once again, I put off.
Another week went by and I was back to doubting and back on my knees. This time I remember specifically praying the words, “ Did I hear you wrong God?” When I got up from praying I went to read the daily devotional I get on my phone. When the screen lit up, I saw the title. It was (I kid you not), “Did I Hear God Wrong?”
I might as well have had a burning bush in my bedroom.
It should go without saying, God got my attention and I resigned from the team.
I spent the next seven months spending more time on my writing, and more time with my mom, who at 91 was an amazement to her doctors. She was incredibly healthy for all her underlying medical issues.
Nothing remarkable happened in those months from May to December. Where was the blessing I would miss out on? Mom was good, and it’s not like I had a dozen publishers knocking down my door.
But all that changed on December 10th when Mom had a stroke.
Within a week the Lord called her home.
Looking back, the extra time I got to spend with her was a blessing—my blessing. One I might have missed if I had spent every weekday morning chasing a little yellow ball.
2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we live by faith, not by sight…” (NIV) There will be times when we’ll never come to understand why God asks us to do or not do something. With our limited vision, some things just don’t add up. We don’t see the big picture. But God doesn’t call us to understand, and we don’t need to see the big picture. Because He does. And He calls us to trust Him and obey Him even when we don’t get it.
And where there is trust we will always find a blessing.