It was my freshman year in college, John Travolta was in, leisure suits were on the way out and “Grease” was the word. I was away from home for the first time in my life and madly in love.
I believed unequivocally in my heart of hearts, this was the guy I would marry.
That is, until a year and half later when we broke up.
Actually WE didn’t break up, HE broke up with me. I was DUMPED to be more accurate. He wanted distance. Yeah, the whole “it’s me, not you” blah, blah, blah thing.
He drove me to the highest point on our college campus overlooking the ballfields to say his peace. It was sooo… dramatic or should I say, I was sooo dramatic. I wanted to jump out of the car and slam the door and run away and have him run after me like in the movies.
But wait, it was my car!
We were in my old turquoise, always-on-empty 1967 Ford Torino. I was letting him borrow it while his car was in the shop. The nerve of him to dump me while borrowing my car!
For days on end I was inconsolable. I wanted to call him. I was afraid he’d forget me while he was trying to… er uh, how did he put it?… Yes, that’s it—figure things out (bear with me, I know how ludicrous this unrequited love sounds).
And then a dear friend gave me some wise advice.
She said, “While you’re waiting for said dream boy to come back, get on with your life and if and when he does come back, maybe, just maybe, you’ll see things differently and you won’t want him back. You’ll see he wasn’t necessarily all that. Don’t miss out on the best by hanging on to the past”
But I didn’t want to not want him back. I loved what I had. I didn’t want to see what might be better because I was afraid of what I didn’t know might be good.
This may all sound as clear as mud but even now as mature adults, don’t we fear the same thing? What we don’t know?
We hold on to old ways not because they are beneficial but because they are comfortable. And a new perspective might mean we’ll miss what we once loved.
Recently I’ve prayed some bold prayers. I truly desire to be a woman after God’s own heart. I want to surrender everything to God to be more like Him. I want to see as He sees so I may do more as He does. But in praying these bold prayers some old fears have crossed my path. Namely, the fear of the unknown—what a fresh perspective might hold.
The releasing of old ways.
The first time I spoke these bold requests to God I bit my lip when I caught myself thinking, Ooh, what if God changes the way I think? Do I want a new view of things when I like my little comfortable corner of the world the way it is?
When pulling a skirt from the closet, tags still on, Again I caught myself thinking, What if this new perspective brings with it big changes? New habits, new hobbies? I like what I have, what I do.
My friend’s advice from long ago echoed deep within my heart and I realized I needed to step out in faith and not be paralyzed by holding on to the present.
Looking back, being dumped by my college “heartbreak” was the best thing not the worst thing. It afforded me a view of life from a different vantage point—a good one. And it led me toward the path where I eventually met the man God was actually preparing for me.
Do you ever have a reluctance to forge ahead with God afraid of where He might take you—of what you might leave behind?
If we believe in God’s promises we can stand on faith and not fear.
He promises us a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
He’s promises He has a good work already prepared for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
And He promises He loves us with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
Let’s be bold and leave the old behind. Step out with me into a new perspective. When all is said and done, if God is in the midst of the change we’ll see things through the lens of God’s eyes and we won’t miss what we once thought was all that.