I watched as my girl’s night out invitation was met with regret.
With a quizzical look on my friend’s face, her gaze turned down toward her tightly folded hands she sighed, “Sorry I’ll have to miss. I can’t go out. He’s only here another week. I want to spend as much time with him as I can.”
“This is it you know.”
As my friend’s eyes welled up with tears I listened to her explain her heart.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This should be the happiest time of my life. I’ve waited 18 years for this event and now I’m an emotional mess.”
“Am I crazy?”
These are the words of a momma about to send her first baby off to his inaugural day of school. One. Last. Time.
One last first goodbye.
I remember those contradiction of feelings all too well when I sent my oldest off to college. “What’s the matter with me?” I thought. I’ve heard the same sentiments shared, the same questions asked by many mommas since.
We prepared them for this didn’t we?
We prepared our children to walk, talk, make friends and share toys. We put them on their first bike and pushed them off on their way.
We explained how to be a good sport when they won and when they lost.
We prepared them to drive and gave them the means by which to do it. We got them ready for prom and taught them about love and heartbreak.
But in all this preparation did we prepare for our own heart to break when it came time to let them go?
It’s natural to mourn. It’s okay to feel sad. How can it be otherwise?
The pain of shutting a door we can’t reopen is as unyielding as it is confusing.
As mommas we’re geared to rear. It’s in our nature to nurture.
But if life is to continue and God’s beauty reproduced, some things must come to an end if others are to flourish.
God has a reason for every season in our life. Each one with it’s own purpose builds on the last and prepares us for the next.
Just as God tilts nature, changing fall to winter and winter to spring to reflect His glory, He allows our personal world to tilt to bring about the necessary changes for our children and in us that we might be better reflections of Him.
There is a unique rhythm to it all and God’s perfect timing.
In the upcoming weeks young mommas will be dropping their babes off at school for the first time. There will be anxiety and yes, some hurt.
Each one will find it difficult to know just how to let their little one go.
But then mustering up strength for her small tyke, she’ll wipe the tears from her prophetic eyes that tell her this is only the first of goodbyes.
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Today I’m offering a free download from Katie M Reid’s cd Echoes Of My Heart. In her touching song, Castles and Rockets, she describes what it might feel like when her children are grown and gone. http://www.noisetrade.com/katiereid/echoes-of-my-heart
Looking forward, pressing on, seeking God.