We were having a conversation about last years events when, for whatever reason, I felt the need to admit my guilt to a gaff. I sent out a text to a family member that was meant for someone else. I thought it slipped under the radar unnoticed. But, oh no. Once my cards were on the table, the offended family member piped up.
Thank goodness she knew my heart and we were all able to have a good laugh.
But that’s all it took for the games to begin. The challenge was on. Each person at the table came up with a better blunder, or funnier flub to beat the one previously confessed.
“You think that was bad, well let me tell you when I…”
It was kind of fun because each new story removed the sting from of the last. And the worse the gaff, the bigger the laugh.
The truth is, we’re all going to do it. Mess up. Hurt someone. Some of us (me) just happen to stick our foot in “it” more than others.
It’s never good thing to cause hurt feelings but it’s worse when a relationship is new and delicate; a relationship you’re tying to foster and build. Precious relationships like those with daughters-in-law.
The night before my son got married, I gave his bride-to-be a letter. In it, I released my son to her, and asked forgiveness for the future grievances I was sure I would make. I asked ahead, not because I wanted a, get out of jail free card, but because I coveted her friendship, and respect, and I wanted her to feel loved. I gave her permission to tell me when I offended her. I wanted us to be able to talk openly and repair any damage.
Recently I ran across an article entitled, 14 Things Your Daughter-in-Law Wants to Tell You And guess what was #3 on the list?
“Ask your daughter-in-law to let you know if/when you offend her. Remember that Satan wants to destroy your relationship.” http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/relationships/inlaws-and-others/14-things-your-daughter-in-law-wants-to-tell-you
Satan’s favorite way to attack us is to get us to attack each other. He’s especially delighted when we attack family members. Remember Ephesians 6:12 tells us our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world.
My letter to my daughter-in-law was a pledge, a promise, a covenant between us. An admission of guilt and a promise of repentance. A request for forgiveness.
God made a covenant with us through His Son, Jesus. He gives us permission to talk openly with Him about our offenses, our mistakes, our sin. And He promises to forgive us, again, and again, and again. We don’t have to ask for a, “get out of jail free card,” He just gives it to us. Not because we deserve it, but because He loves us and wants a relationship with us. Can’t we do the same for one another?
Maybe it’s time to lay the cards on the table. Show your love and play a game of truth or dare.
Dare to be transparent. Dare to be honest. Dare to forgive.